The tenth success principle is release the brakes. I love the quote this chapter starts off with, "Everything you want is just outside your comfort zone," Robert Allen. This principle is very much about moving out of the box that you create for yourself and realizing there's more available to you outside those boundaries. We start to feel safe and secure within the comfort zone, but often it becomes a prison, limiting the range of our experience and stunting our growth.
Canfield points to our use of the words "can't," "must," "must not" as clues to where you are building your own box. It's a great exercise to spend a day or a week paying attention to when you say anything that I would call a 'that's the way it is" statement (e.g. "I'd love to change my job, but it's just not realistic." "I really want to study music, but..." "If I didn't have this mortgage, I would...) That will help determine where you are seeing boundaries and limitations, i.e. the edges of your box.
This chapter about moving outside of the comfort zone is timely for me. I've been working on revamping the look and feel of my business and in the midst of it working on personal image transformation as well. At times it has been exciting and inspiring and at others, overwhelming and frustrating. I find that sometimes I'm so used to the walls I've created that I'm more likely to keep painting those walls or hanging new art on them instead of seeing that the real point is to blast them down and open up to something brand new! That's a good time to get an outside view.
This week I had the opportunity to work with a branding strategist and a style consultant, which was powerful, insightful work. And I noticed how vulnerable I felt in the process. When I became aware of my resistance and sensitivity, it occured to me that the reason this feels so uncomfortable is because it's real change. I'm growing and stepping into new shoes and I'm not 100% sure what they look like. And I'm finding that disorienting. I've always had a deep sense of who I am and a strong sense of my personal style and the way I move in the world. Up until recently, I've always been someone who shifts their look with their life. I remember the different eras in my life (the dancer era, the body-building era, drama student, artistic director, club chick) and the accompanying wardrobe and image changes.
I'm surprised at how difficult I've found this current transformation. Maybe it's because I'm holding some limiting beliefs that are putting the brakes on. I'd say that's true about how I feel about getting older. And I notice things like how I undercut my love of the garden because I'm associating it with a domesticity that I'm resisting, despite the fact that I love "home." And the style consultant actually challenged me to fully claim my spirituality. So there are at least 3 invitations for me to expand my comfort zone.
Canfield points to our use of the words "can't," "must," "must not" as clues to where you are building your own box. It's a great exercise to spend a day or a week paying attention to when you say anything that I would call a 'that's the way it is" statement (e.g. "I'd love to change my job, but it's just not realistic." "I really want to study music, but..." "If I didn't have this mortgage, I would...) That will help determine where you are seeing boundaries and limitations, i.e. the edges of your box.
This chapter about moving outside of the comfort zone is timely for me. I've been working on revamping the look and feel of my business and in the midst of it working on personal image transformation as well. At times it has been exciting and inspiring and at others, overwhelming and frustrating. I find that sometimes I'm so used to the walls I've created that I'm more likely to keep painting those walls or hanging new art on them instead of seeing that the real point is to blast them down and open up to something brand new! That's a good time to get an outside view.
This week I had the opportunity to work with a branding strategist and a style consultant, which was powerful, insightful work. And I noticed how vulnerable I felt in the process. When I became aware of my resistance and sensitivity, it occured to me that the reason this feels so uncomfortable is because it's real change. I'm growing and stepping into new shoes and I'm not 100% sure what they look like. And I'm finding that disorienting. I've always had a deep sense of who I am and a strong sense of my personal style and the way I move in the world. Up until recently, I've always been someone who shifts their look with their life. I remember the different eras in my life (the dancer era, the body-building era, drama student, artistic director, club chick) and the accompanying wardrobe and image changes.
I'm surprised at how difficult I've found this current transformation. Maybe it's because I'm holding some limiting beliefs that are putting the brakes on. I'd say that's true about how I feel about getting older. And I notice things like how I undercut my love of the garden because I'm associating it with a domesticity that I'm resisting, despite the fact that I love "home." And the style consultant actually challenged me to fully claim my spirituality. So there are at least 3 invitations for me to expand my comfort zone.
Where might you expand yours?
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7 comments:
you know what jamie? i just love you. these words, the dance studio photos, the inspiration, the good ideas...
you are a spark of positive energy. thank you for being so wonderful!
Hi!
I think the word "associating" is the key. With what are you associating domesticity, what`s so bad about it?
I think that change is so big part of us, it`s better to go with it. I also think, it does`nt mean that you have to abandon or deny your previous images. You are all of them, one side of you is now more visible to others as previous ones. Yes, we discover new images and styles, but they all are YOU. Everchanging and growing. Be happy that you are strong and have courage to mirror your inside to the outside.
Thank You for your beautiful blog! I found it through Zazazu :)
eva
I look forward to these posts each and every week!!
Let go of the brakes - oh my, that isn't a favourite of mine! I'll have to keep that in mind this week, when I say those words.
'Til then I'll just keep riding my tricycle!
That quote is so true. But for me, right now I feel like I need to find something familiar again. I've been searching and stepping outside the "old" me for so long that all of a sudden, I felt like I was dangling with nothing below.
Okay, in rereading, I'm not sure that what I've written even makes sense to me. I just know that I have come to a place where I need to rest with the changes I've made so far before I can make a choice about which way to go next--sort of marinating I guess.
This weekly Jack Canfield posts are wonderful. Thanks for sharing them with us, Jamie.
This post is so timely for me because I have been thinking alot about what I want my life to really look like...not what I thought it would or could or should be...But what
I want it to be.
and I really understand about the personal style thing...I am still in my old "retail manager" wardrobe which is not who I am today. I am slowly changing that even though it does feel uncomfortable at times.
XO,
melba
This is a very powerful post Jamie. I think those three issues where you may want to push the limits are very revealing and fascinating. It's confusing if we are VERY multi-faceted people, it sometimes feels very contradictory.
My dreams have been telling me to expand my spirituality. To start believing in my empathic and sensitive capabilities more because others do. I of course don't know how to do this...
Thanks Jamie! I hope that you are truly embracing all those women told you. I've been thinking about it so much!
just wonderful!i love reading your The Success Principles :) xxx
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