True Balance ~ Third Chakra ~ Shine

As our study of the third chakra comes to a close, I continue to be stumped by my reaction to it. Maybe it's because I'm a little shaken in this chakra right now, and I find that in itself unnerving. For most of my life, I've had a very good sense of who I am, a sense of my tastes, my passions, my ideals, and I've known my own mind. I did lose my way during that first big love relationship (I am sure many of you can relate). And when I found my way back to me, I felt confident that I would never go through that painful disconnect with myself again. But now as I turn my focus to issues of identity, sovereignty, personality, I realize how deeply in transition I am.

In stepping out into my new life as a coach and an independent, self-employed woman, I didn't realize how different I would feel in this new terrain. The most significant thing is that I'm moving from the learning stage to the doing. I've been coaching for years now and loving it, but there is something entirely different when you make that leap. It is empowering. It is terrifying. It is that wide open playing field where the next move is whatever move you decide to make. And now as I see myself repeatedly looking at courses I could take, I have to check myself and see why I'm doing it. I have a passion for lifelong learning. I am committed to constantly growing and expanding both in my fields and as a person. But I also know that I feel very comfortable as a student. And retreating to the land of learning may also feel like a security blanket during this fragile, growing time.

In many ways I'm redefining myself. I'm growing into a new skin, a bigger me. And dangit, it feels damn uncomfortable sometimes, even lots of the time. But I am committed to this process. I am committed to sharing my gifts with all my heart and rising to the challenge of being all that I can be in this world. And every day I'm figuring out exactly what that looks like. Maybe I will see better by the light of this bright shining yellow chakra.