Sunday, October 15, 2006

True Balance ~ Third Chakra ~ Shine


As our study of the third chakra comes to a close, I continue to be stumped by my reaction to it. Maybe it's because I'm a little shaken in this chakra right now, and I find that in itself unnerving. For most of my life, I've had a very good sense of who I am, a sense of my tastes, my passions, my ideals, and I've known my own mind. I did lose my way during that first big love relationship (I am sure many of you can relate). And when I found my way back to me, I felt confident that I would never go through that painful disconnect with myself again. But now as I turn my focus to issues of identity, sovereignty, personality, I realize how deeply in transition I am.

In stepping out into my new life as a coach and an independent, self-employed woman, I didn't realize how different I would feel in this new terrain. The most significant thing is that I'm moving from the learning stage to the doing. I've been coaching for years now and loving it, but there is something entirely different when you make that leap. It is empowering. It is terrifying. It is that wide open playing field where the next move is whatever move you decide to make. And now as I see myself repeatedly looking at courses I could take, I have to check myself and see why I'm doing it. I have a passion for lifelong learning. I am committed to constantly growing and expanding both in my fields and as a person. But I also know that I feel very comfortable as a student. And retreating to the land of learning may also feel like a security blanket during this fragile, growing time.

In many ways I'm redefining myself. I'm growing into a new skin, a bigger me. And dangit, it feels damn uncomfortable sometimes, even lots of the time. But I am committed to this process. I am committed to sharing my gifts with all my heart and rising to the challenge of being all that I can be in this world. And every day I'm figuring out exactly what that looks like. Maybe I will see better by the light of this bright shining yellow chakra.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Good morning Jamie,

This is a beautiful post! It gives me lots to think about on my commute this morning. I like the idea of seeing yellow as a light illuminating our own sense of self. FINALLY! A concept of yellow that I can work with. Oy!

Also, whenever you want to fly out here for a Girl Scout museum sleep over, you are most welcome. I'll let you pick which craft we will make.

Shannon said...

What an interesting response! I love how you are totally committed to it even though its shiny and new and sometimes scary. That is so Jamie of you :)

chest of drawers said...

You are very courageous.

Felicity said...

Self...who I am is changing dramatically as for the first time ever I am in a positive, safe love relationship. With a man. Huhm.
And you are one brave girl.

melba said...

I can so relate to this post.
lately I have been second guessing myself...thinking I should have waited to start justBe..., but I know there is no substitute for doing. Sometimes we have to leap with both feet and our eyes wide open.

I am glad we are together on this journey!

Anonymous said...

Testing testing...