Thursday, June 08, 2006

Enough

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This quote is from my Nia teacher, Martha. It meant the world to me when she said it. In Nia, Level 1 is movement that's close to the body, smaller, less energy. Level 3 is when you really let it go, take it out there, stretch yourself and your body into what it can do. You take up space! My heart filled with joy when she gave us all permission to take up space, when she let us know there was enough.

In my life I've often felt like I had to keep it small. I have felt like I wasn't allowed to take up too much space, to want too much, or first and foremost to demand too much attention. And as someone called to the performing arts, this certainly caused some inner turmoil. This is why my gremlin's favourite saying is, "Who the hell do you think you are?" After a time it actually felt like even wanting something was asking for too much, so much so that for a time in my 20s I think I even forgot what I liked.


As I've grown older, I've seen through those cautionary tales warning that bad little girls are prideful and selfish when they have desires of their own and want to take up space. I don't believe that there's a limited amount of love, attention, positivity or joy in the world. In fact, I believe that when each of us experiences those things, they grow exponentially. The more joy we have, the more joy we are able to share and the more we are able to celebrate other's joy without reserve.

This "not enough" mentality is pernicious. I'm really surprised when it still rears its ugly head in my psyche. For example, if I'm reading someone's blog and they have tons of comments, no matter how much the post moved me, I notice that I resist commenting. I think, "She's already got 21 comments. She's got enough." What's enough? Can anyone have too much support, encouragement, appreciation, camaraderie?

I don't think so. So when that "not enough" dragon raises his head, I choose to put up a fight. I choose to revel in abundance, to laugh deeply and loudly, to contribute my opinions and comments, to acknowledge my gifts and those of others, to make mistakes outloud and to say the wrong thing, to put myself out there to be seen and heard, to share who I am and with exuberance enjoy what others share too.


I choose to be a heroine of abundance, to overindulge in joy and laughter, fun and self-expression, love and magic, song and dance, to share fully all that I am and be open to the magnificence of others. Join me on this adventure. There is room for all of us. There is enough.

6 comments:

Shannon said...

"heroine of abundance"

I LOVE it. Love it. There is enough. More than enough! Bring on the abundance!!!!

Sacred Suzie said...

I remember you talking about that moment in Nia, it's like someone accepted you 100% and gave you space to be all of you. Allowing you to fully breathe. What a gift!

Who do we help by keeping ourselves small? No one. Who do we inspire by not allowing all of our personality to exist? No one. So dance around the room and grow to your full potential. Leaders lead by example and you're a leader!

melba said...

Yes! You know I am with you all the way on this one! and I think it happens to everyone, no matter how much they have...they experience why does so and so have more. I am glad you put up a fight. I do too. There is enough! Believe in Abundance!

Laini Taylor said...

This is a great message -- and so true. That idea of "who do I think I am, anyway?" is so invasive -- that WE think we deserve creative, rewarding careers, relationships, lives. We're just a few generations removed from the good old Protestant work ethic generation, the one where you just had to feed your family and that was all there was really "room" for. Now we have so many blessings (some of us do, surely not all) and opportunities, but there's still that atavistic guilt telling us just to feed our families and go to bed. But we can't and won't! Keep taking up space. The more space that's occupied by bright, positive energy, the better.

Sacred Suzie said...

I don't think I mentioned this before but I love the artwork of this post too! Jamie, your style is so varied and interesting. I find it entertaining AND provocative. What an interesting combination.

Way to go!

liz elayne said...

there is room for us all.
oh my. this is beautiful.
and this gift of letting yourself take up as much space and you need and want. this is beautiful. i love this!
why do we let ourselves stay small? i am so glad we are learning to find the "big" inside.