Monday, February 13, 2006

Figment 6 ~ Heaven

What does heaven look like to me?

I found this Figment to be the toughest so far and by far. First of all, "heaven" sounds so religious and, like Frankie recently explored, I too know that I am deeply spiritual, but I am not religious in the slightest. So that got me stuck.

And then I started thinking, well, what's my view of "the spiritual." I started imagining the cosmos and how we're all connected and how I might convey that. I thought of the sky and stars and the big blue marble. But I still felt kind of disconnected, uninspired.

Then I thought, well, maybe I won't participate for this one. Maybe I don't have an idea of what heaven is. That's okay. Though if next week's hell, I've got a few thoughts!

So I put that behind me and started working on something I'm interested in but kind of-- Who am I kidding? That I'm totally scared of: creating a mixed media collage journal. When I look at people's work online my tummy sort of drops, and I get completely overwhelmed. I have to take a good long break from it, and then I'll find myself drawn back for more. I have no idea where to begin. I've read voraciously all sorts of blogs that give clues about how people actually create their work. What kind of paper do they use? What kind of paint? How did they print that? What adhesive? Was that crayon? And still, I'm scared.

So I've been using a great Julia Cameron technique. I've kind of been sneaking up on it. Saturday I cleared of the table I would work on. Yesterday, I pulled out paper and books I might try out. Today I popped to the store and decided to buy some stuff to play with: gesso, Golden soft gel medium, a small book with watercolour paper and some little kid paint. (I've also learned that a great way to get past being intimidated by art is to play with the stuff you played with as a kid)

When I got home I decided that all I would do would be to gesso some pages (as one blogger suggested), paint a couple of pages (as another suggested). That's it. That's all I was going to do. I put on my little blue painting apron. I put my hair in a ponytail. I put on some music, and I just painted some paper with gesso. As I stood there watching this paper curl and that paper lie a bit flatter, I suddenly thought, this is it. This is heaven. I feel safe. I feel like me. I'm doing something I love. Heaven.


megg said...

Hi there,

OH MY GOODNESS, I can SO relate to this! I LOVE looking at other people's mixed media collages. I've bought BOOKS on them, and I am incredibly frightened to start. I can't imagine making anything as lovely as what they have done. I am as jealous of Sabrina Ward Harrison as I like her because I want to be able to make the collages she does.

But you are braver than me! You started!! Well done. I'll tell you a secret: YOUR work has been inspiring me to try. Your superhero was amazing... and I agree with you. Being creative IS heaven!!

melba said...

Hi. I had fun looking through your blogs and visiting your coaching website. I love how upbeat and fun your coaching site is...not boring or stuffy. You can definately have some postcards! Thanks for the email. have a great <3 day!

Alexandra S said...

I feel the exact same way! I'm so inspired that you actually got everything and are now starting ! Yay! Have a wonderful time exploring and experimenting. And do share when you are done!

Frankie said...

And here I have found heaven in your beautiful words and soul expressed here in your blog. I love that you took a chance on something new and something you were a little frightened to do. It's such an indication of the strength and courage I know that you have within you. I absolutely ADORE this post. It's such a wonderful reminder that if you look with an open mind and an open heart, you can find heaven everywhere.

chest of drawers said...

I can´t wait to see some of those collages...we never stop learning about ourselves and our tastes change through life aswell. It´s wonderful that you have things to look back on to remember all those parts of you.

andrea said...

You must take a good look through for some awesome mixed media/photoshop work. Also her Flickr site. You'll be amazed!

Laini Taylor said...

Hi Jamie! Great post - have all the fun experimenting that you possibly can! It makes me think of my art school days (art school was a big leap into the unknown for me, I felt like everyone else there knew secrets I did not) and buying every single art supply ever made and sometimes being terrified to use them, not knowing how to start - I had a beautiful kit of oil paints for 6 months and never worked up the courage to use them, thinking there was some deep chemical mystery to it, and I didn't TRY it until I took an oil painting class. The class ended up being something of a joke with 2 major exceptions: it taught me that all you have to do is take the caps off the paint and start painting; and: Jim was in that class! Both were life-changing: I fell in love with oil paint, and I fell in love with Jim! I switched from watercolors to oils FOREVER, and I married Jim. So I guess that class was a good thing!