101 Things in 1001 Days ~ #56 Participate in a Spiritual Ritual

When I wrote this on my 101 List, I wasn't really sure what it was that I was going to participate in. I just knew that ritual is very important to me. I am a highly kinesthetic person and actually doing something to mark an occasion, an event, a transition is very important to me. Then last month Suzie wrote about how much she enjoyed some meditation cds by Mary Marzo and that Mary is in Toronto. I checked out her website and saw that she was offering a workshop for Samhain and promptly signed up, hoping that this was going to be what I was looking for.

Oh, it was. And more.

What a beautiful experience it is to be in a room with like-minded women, to feel safe with people you have never met before. It was a magical evening filled with light and dark, as is appropriate on this holiday. It was a time to let go of what was no longer needed or wanted and to make space for the new, to plant intentions in the cleared field of your spirit. It was intense, it was beautiful and it was magic.

The evening involved a guided meditation, one that touched me deeply. In my meditation, I was blessed to meet an old woman, a grandmother, my grandmother, all of our grandmothers. I rushed to her and put my head in her lap like a little girl. She stroked my hair and told me that I am not alone. I am never alone. And somehow I knew this was true. And I really needed to hear it. Recently, as I've faced the challenges involved with starting my own business, I've sometimes been shut down. There's been a lot going on inside me as I take this leap into my own venture. In many ways it feels like all the awkwardness of moving from teenage years into adulthood. And at times I've felt very alone, existentially alone.

And yet, I have a beautiful support system. I have a family that loves me and believes in me, that generously gives me feedback and advice whenever I need it. I have friends and colleagues whose kind ears and wisdom are shared readily. I have a blogging community that's full of life and wisdom and creative women out there making things happen. But now I know that even when I am alone in a room with the computer or the page and struggling, trying to make strong plans and good decisions, I am never alone. I have the wisdom of all grandmothers with me. I have their strength and their kindness. I have their humour and their magic. It is always with me. And with it, I can do anything. And so can you.