Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Self Portrait Tuesday ~ All of Me

When I read this month's theme was "all of me, embrace your mistakes, love the ugly bits," frankly I was mortified! I was like, "Are you kidding?" And when I finally managed to lift my jaw off the floor I thought, "Okay, I'm going to be brave. Jamie, one of your big values is being brave. You can do it. Remember what Meg said 'I'm not fragile anymore.' Go for it."

Then immediately I knew what picture I was going to use. I knew it had to be my grade 7 school pic. I was so committed to sharing this picture that I dug into the deepest box at the very bottom of an incredibly full closet. And I found it. There it was, just as I remembered it. Check out the dorky brown plastic glasses. You'll notice I have a chain around them (oh, my!). I think that was to try and convince everyone that I didn't need to wear them all the time (a complete and utter lie) and I didn't realize that style-wise I was emulating our librarian. And the hair - oh my! The classic middle part and I don't think you can see it here but there's a big hunk of hair on the left sticking up under the chain of my glasses. And just when I was actually sort of starting to revel in just how horrid this picture was something changed.

For the first time I looked down and saw this little 12-year-old me. I looked a little fragile, and I looked a little hopeful. It was a tough year for me. We'd just moved to Toronto from my much-loved Montreal, and I'd started school mid-term. And, you know, I had a tender smile and an open face. I was a good kid with a good heart. Who cares if I had goofy glasses.

7 comments:

megg said...

hey! We had the same teeth!!

I love that you felt love towards your little self. I remember how awkward I felt back then, and when I see those pictures I remember that awkwardness. I also realize how beautiful I was underneath all of that angst. Wouldn't it be nice to go back and talk to that girl and hug her and tell her how it would all work out? Sigh.

Jim Di Bartolo said...

I ALMOST had the same teeth as you back then, but my two front ones were longer. You could easily go through life with them like that and be perfectly fine (and maybe you have?! :) but I needed braces badly and thankfully got them. I still remember the orthodontist putting them on and tightening them that first week and it yanked the length back up into my skull. Then I went back a week or so later and he tightened them so they'd be close together -- holy crap (!), the things we do for vanity when we're 13!

Jim

Jamie said...
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Jamie said...

I do have to say that these chompers are still mine. And my incisors are vicious. I have to admit, I can be a bit sensitive about it.

Laini Taylor said...

I think this is a lovely picture -- you look like such a sweet kid.

Sacred Suzie said...

I know this version of Jamie really well! She was busy helping out, creating amazing experiences for people and cared with a huge heart about the world. I love this "Jamie" very much and think she is beautiful. I see her spirit shining in this picture and see nothing but beauty.

Frankie said...

Aww I think you looked adorable! Honestly. I love this insight into who you used to be, and I love what you felt about this younger version of you. This was such a moving post, and it's clear that good heart of yours is still with you, maybe even better.