Secret #6: Conquering Saboteurs

When I was a little girl, I was very excited to learn how to skate. I had the most beautiful red skating dress with a skirt that would swirl when I turned. I imagined myself moving with speed and grace, dancing on the ice. Wonderful. I could hardly wait. I put my tender little skated feet onto the ice and promptly fell on my bum.

I never skated again.

Thinking back, I'm not sure whether it was the shock or the indignity that made me walk away. It was certainly a blow to my confidence to recognize the distance between what I dreamed of for myself and what was true in the moment.

I'm still a sensitive soul profoundly attached to my dignity. I can be shutdown by criticism. Fear of embarrassment or getting it wrong or not being good enough can hold me back. But my spirit is always aching to grow, to try new things, to go on the next adventure, to risk, to try, to believe something amazing is possible if only I show up. And so I do. And here are some of the things that I have learned and that help me. Maybe they'll help you too.

• Respect your creative cycles. There are times in your process when your precious idea or your creative self is simply too tender for criticism and judgment. And there are other times when feedback and sharing can help shape your creation and guide you in taking the next step.
  
• Create/find a safe rehearsal space. If you're going to grow, there will be times when you have to stretch and do things you have never done before. It may not be graceful. You may fall on your butt. Give yourself some time and space to do that - free of judgment, including your own.
  
• Have support. It helps to have some loving friends, a supportive accountability group, an encouraging coach, an empowering blogging community, a trusted journal.
• Be gentle with you. When I fall on my bum, it's time for a hot chocolate, a deep breath and a reminder that it's all okay.
• Celebrate your strengths. In fact, not only is it okay, but it's a time to remember that in a lot of things I rock. Maybe I couldn't skate back then but I could dance, ride a bike and find my way around the neighbourhood!
  
• Accept yourself and all of your sensitivities. This is not about changing who you are. It is about knowing how to best work with your own unique set of characteristics. One of my gifts is that I'm sensitive. It makes me good at what I do. But I need to know how it serves me and also how to be with it when it gets in my way.
  
• Choose your adventures. There are some things that may not be worth the discomfort and hassle. To be honest, I don't really care that I don't know how to skate. It's way too cold out there for me! But then there are things that I really want to do that involve risking and potentially failing - running my own business, launching a new idea, putting on a show - and for that, I'm willing to fall on my bum.
  
• The world won't end. As I've gone through life, sometimes I've fallen on my bum but sometimes I've shone. Often I've had fun and memorable experiences. Each time I've grown. Not one time has it been the end of the world. So, I'm going to keep showing up and seeing what happens. I'll just bring my sense of adventure with me.

How do you conquer your saboteurs?

Secret #5: Committing to Self-Focus

As I read this chapter of 12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women for The Next Chapter, I found myself getting drawn into debates over everything from semantics to feminism. The more I thought about this secret, the more I wanted to tease apart its components. As I pulled on the threads, I discovered my beliefs.

Jamie's Thought Threads on Self-Focus

• The world needs your gifts. Be generous by developing and sharing them.
• What calls your spirit deserves your attention.
• You are here to be who you are.
  
• Love means supporting each other's dreams.
  
• Let people love you by supporting you in the pursuit of your dreams.
• It is a gift to model fulfillment and self-expression.
• In a family, everyone is equally important.
• You can't be in relationship if you leave yourself out.
• If you don't pay attention to your self, your wants and needs, you will get lost.
• Know yourself by spending time by yourself.
  
• Boundaries are healthy.
• Distractions can be fear talking.
• Discernment plays a role in the creative process. Judgment shuts it down.
• We each have our own way.
• There is a distinction to be made between focusing on your creative work and focusing on your self.
• Self-care is a part of the creative process.
• Focus is a way of expressing your respect and love.
• Respect for your work starts with you.
• Your development as an artist requires time and attention, as does your development as a person.
• Women create powerful, loving, supportive communities.
• We are tribal beings in pursuit of self-actualization. Shifting between intimacy and individuation is a part of the journey.

Secret #4: Surrendering to Creative Cycles

I call them the dark days.

I think of them as stormy weather systems rolling in. They build in the distance. I can feel the pressure change, sense that something's coming. Soon clouds descend and I'm full on in the midst of a mood. I've made a study of this particular weather phenomenon. Here is what I've learned.

Characteristics of "The Mood"

• appearance of soul-gripping doubt
• heart-stabbing, knife-turning jealousy
• tendency to anger combined with desire to be verbally venomous
  
• disinterest in anything remotely resembling productivity
• complete denial of all positive indicators in favour of any and every negative sign
• patience meter reads 'empty'
  
• hypersensitivity to criticism
• fear, fear, fear, fear

Mood Predictors

Over time, I've discovered that storm patterns do have some key indicators. These dark days often arrive:

• when I'm not expressing myself creatively
• when something finishes
• the Tuesday before my period
• when I haven't had enough "me" time
• when I haven't had enough time with my honey
• after a disappointment
• when I'm overtired, overextended, mired in detail
• when there's something I need to say
  
• when I'm stuck in unending, repetitive routine
• when I'm undecided
• on the bridge
  
• and most often - for no discernible reason at all
  

Mood Survival

I've learned that these storms are part of my own personal landscape, the natural weather patterns of Jamie.

To weather the storms I...

• Come back to routines that I know work: morning pages and journaling
• Move my body. Walks and Nia work really well for me.
• Eat vitamin-rich foods... and chocolate.
  
• Admit I'm in a mood.
• Talk it out.
• Indulge in a pyjama day.
  
• Watch a tear-inspiring movie.
  
• Change something.
• Let myself feel what I feel.

What's the weather system like in your personal landscape?

Secret #3: Following Your Fascinations

This week at The Next Chapter: 12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women we're talking about following our fascinations, an adventure that takes heart, courage and support.

Bolstering Your Staying Power

Here are some things that help bolster my courage and support me when I'm risking:

• being well-rested, well-prepared and well-dressed
• doing everything I can to make it easier, then diving in and getting it done
• having candid and vulnerable conversations with loved ones about my hopes and fears
• reminding myself of the things I've already done that were even scarier
• being reminded I am loved and that there are people who believe in me
• asking for help and/or support
  
• having a coach
  
• bringing a friend
• connecting to my body through touch, slowing down, breathing, moving
• my encouragement box
• Reiki
• trusting the Universe
• knowing it's my job to step up and let the Universe know this is what I really want
• being willing to pay the price (Have you seen The Miss Firecracker Contest?)
• believing in myself, trusting that I can bear the results either way
• getting some perspective on the risk I'm taking (e.g. No one's going to die, it won't be the end of the world...)
• appreciating all that I love in my life
  
• being clear on why I'm taking the risk
  
• having a cheering section
• knowing the kind of person I want to be in this world
• taking quiet time with the Universe
• taking the initiative (I strongly prefer taking a step to being pushed)
• giving myself time to recover afterwards
• thinking of it as an adventure, reminding myself I simply don't know what's going to happen next. Anything's possible.
• booking a celebration to mark having taken the risk, honouring my bravery, regardless of the results

What risk will I take this week?

I've been risking all over the map these past couple of weeks. This week, I will risk writing a press release about The Next Chapter and sending it to at least 3 media centres. (I'm hearing in my head all the reasons why I can't/shouldn't do it [I'm going to have to visit the Vault] so it's a definite go. Wish me luck!)

Secret #2: Honouring Your Inspirations Part II

There is a lot of richness to explore in 12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women. I've already written a post for secret #2 but when I saw that Leah had shared this particular exercise, I felt motivated to explore it too.

1. When did your creative awakening or reawakening occur? Creativity was always a part of my life but there is one moment I remember electrically. I was about 10 and taking an acting class. We had a movement teacher come in and choreograph a performance with us, chairs and a spotlight. We were to be entirely still and then when the light shone on us, we were to create our own dance with the chair. I will never forget the moment that light shone on me. I felt alive in a way I had never experienced before. That experience not only woke me up as a performer, it had a profound impact on my aesthetic from that day forward.

2. What talents do you have naturally? Performance. Synthesis. Movement. Connection. Intuition. Love.

3. What elements (fire, water, wood, air) draw you toward them? Fire. Earth. (That's not on the list but what the heck)

4. Where and when do you create? Where and when do you wish to create? I create in my home, on my living room floor, at the computer, in my mind, in my studio space. I would like to create in a rehearsal hall, a studio space (white walls, wood floors, big windows, supplies, music, space), on a stage.

5. What activates your creative energy, and what drains it? Engaging in the world activates my creative energy. Judgment, competition, criticism and not enough downtime drain it.

6. Do you use creative rituals? Not for most of the creative work I do right now. Perhaps, making a cup of tea qualifies. If I'm doing something performance related, time to centre is crucial.

7. Does nature influence your creativity? No, other than the fact that the rhythm of nature impacts my inclinations and interests.

8. What has been your greatest creative hurdle so far? Feeling frustrated and intimidated. My experience trying out art classes was brutally painful. But I am thankful to one teacher for the one day she taught shading. Actually received some clues about the technique involved had a profound impact on my abilities and also on my joy.

9. What time of day are you most receptive to inspiration? It doesn't matter the time of day. It matters my energy level.

Mentioning: Vision Board Giveaway

And by the way, I wanted to mention that Kathryn Antyr is hosting a giveaway for the book The Vision Board. You can enter the giveaway here. And as if that wasn't cool enough, inside the book you'll see that my friend, the wonderful Jennifer Lee is showcased for her art visioning. What wonderful connections!

Secret #2: Honouring Your Inspirations

For this session of The Next Chapter, I'm leading a group through 12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women. The energy and inspiration is amazing! Just email me
if you'd like to join us.

This week's secret is honouring your inspirations.

Over the years, one of the ways that I have consistently recognized and reinforced my inspirations, tastes, interests and priorities has been through collaging. Generally, I let myself choose images very intuitively and then I put them together and see what there is to discover. This week I thought a great exercise for honouring my inspirations would be to look at my current Dreamboard and see what my choices reveal.

Dreamboard Inspirations

• I believe in magic.
• I'm currently longing for ease, relaxation and self-care.
• I love sparkle.
• I relish the amazingness of women.
• I'm learning that slowing down doesn't mean easing up. Slow can be powerful.
• I feel the power of focus.
• I love and am attracted to intensity.
• I believe in a world of magic and wonder.
• I want to study Soul Coaching with Denise Linn.
• I want to put on my show about the Snow Queen.
• I love fantastical, epic tales.
• I'm passionately in love with my husband.
• I want to connect and communicate with wonderful, creative people.
• I love to move.
• I am deeply connected to the rhythms of life and am coming to terms with growing older.
• I appreciate and enjoy luxury.
• I feel the fire of my soul.
• I have some attitude.
• I love to celebrate.
• I am determined.
• Art is a part of my life.
• My spiritual connection is always with me, always a part of me.
• I am an adventuress.
• Shine! Sparkle! Glow!

Some of these things are very familiar to me, others are new and some took me a while to recognize. This week I'm going to think about how I can integrate more of these things into my life, especially "slow and powerful." That's an entirely new energy for me, and it's calling. It will be interesting to explore.

I hope you're inspired to make your own dreamboard. Feel free to join us each full moon. For more information, click here.

And don't miss out on my interview with Sacred Suzie this week. You can hear it here.

12 Secrets of Highly Creative: Secret 1

Secret 1: Acknowledging Your Creative Self

"My love of art had been slaughtered early on by a cruel art teacher." Gail McMeekin

How many tender souls have been hurt like this? How many of us are carrying around that hurt? I often think that if we had art-ray glasses to identify this particular wound, we'd see it on everyone we encounter. Maybe for you it was drawing. Or singing. Or dance. Maybe you were the wrong size or shape or gender. Maybe it was a teacher, a classmate, a parent or even you yourself that spoke the words that crushed the artist inside.

When we're wounded in this way, a part of us shuts down. We start believing a lie - that we can't paint or write or perform, that we are not creative. So, does it matter? So what if we don't tap dance anymore? Big deal. So what if we mouth the words when we sing Happy Birthday to our loved ones? We pass it off with humour, jovially turning down an invitation to the dance floor because of our 2-left feet.

What does it matter?

It matters. Whenever a part of us is closed off, we are not whole. When we don't allow ourselves to experience something, we miss out. And when we are shut off from our artistic and creative expression, we lose our confidence in being creative at all. We start to doubt our ability to be a creative force in our lives and in the world - and when that happens all of us miss out.

We are all meant to experience the joy of our body's dance, the power of our own voice, the telling of our own story, the creation of our own images. This is the language of our souls. If you ever wanted to pick up a paintbrush, write a song, learn the drums, then it is meant for you. If you ever wanted to recite poetry, create a sculpture, learn to clown, it is meant for you. Start today.

It is not about being in the National Ballet or playing at Carnegie Hall or showing at the National Gallery - though that might be for you too. It is about you deeply experiencing yourself and sharing your full expression with the world. It's about love.

The arts belong to everyone. And that means you too.

Let the healing begin.

The Next Chapter: 12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women

It was such a joy to work through Soul Coaching by Denise Linn with an amazing group of inspiring, beautiful spirits. So much so, in fact, that it inspired me to start another group in January. Starting January 9, I'll be leading a group through The 12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women. We'll go through one chapter a week, sharing our responses and the journey.

• If you're interested in finding more, simply click here.
• If you know you want to dive right in and join the excitement, email me at jamie (at) openthedoor (dot) ca with your name and the address of the blog on which you'll be posting.

I'm already looking forward to 2009!