Friday, May 08, 2009

A Week of Balance: Danette Relic

Balance: The Dance of Choice By Danette Relic

I took one of those stability ball exercise classes where the instructor had us sit on the ball but raise our feet from the floor and let ourselves wobble around, flapping our arms and using our core muscles to balance.

Some people managed this task with great skill, and they smugly held tight to their balanced position, as though the stability ball were a giant egg they were keeping warm. I could almost hear them saying, Okay, I'm balanced. Now what? But the instructor told them something that resonates with me years later:

Balance is what happens when we are in motion.

That the act of balancing by definition requires imbalance. To be balancing is to be fluid, in motion, shifting and readjusting, going with the flow. I appreciated this suggestion as one of the people who was flapping and darting one foot down to keep from falling off my ball. If the goal was to keep moving, I was rocking that goal.

Basically, Balance is not about clinging to a perfectly equal state. Isn't that great news? I think that "Balance" has become another thing to achieve in our busy world, and as a result has created a binge and purge style of expressing balance (work like a dog, spa like a diva, eat like raccoon, cleanse like monk). I'd like to point out, that if you feel you are consciously choosing your 80 hour weeks, consciously choosing your extreme detox weekend, then that is fantastic. When I say "feel like you are consciously choosing", I mean deep down. I mean in your body, totally at peace.

Balance is all about Being at Choice.

What I hear from clients who want Balance more than anything, is that basically, they feel stuck. They want more of something in their lives, and they don't know how to move forward. They are like the women who perched on top of their stability ball and froze. Now what?

Balance is a Dance.

What would it be like to dance with Balance in your life? Suddenly there is groove, there is motion, there is beauty. Suddenly when I'm in binge and purge mode of Balance, in this place of choice, it becomes a hot, aggressive tango.

What do you See from Your Balance Cam?

What if you pulled way out to a bird's eye view of your life in Balance. What would you see? Looking at the years behind and ahead of you, do you notice seasons of focus? If your whole life was squeezed into one day, what would that look like?

Now zoom in, way in, to a single moment in a single day. Do you feel at choice? Are you dancing in this moment? Is it a lazy tap dance, a sensual modern dance, maybe a whole lot of thrusting and punching?

Put on your Dancing Shoes

It's true that you can dance anywhere, in any thing. It's also true that sometimes, a fabulous pair of flamenco shoes or fat, bouncy sneakers make all the difference in taking your dance to the next level. Maybe you're barefoot, but you really love just the right music? What I'm saying is, there certainly are ways of finding things that support you as you dance. Here are some I've heard from friends lately, that I am putting into my own life to support my dance with Balance:
  • turn the computer off on Saturday. All day. Totally off.
  • treat my designated Danette-Days with the same importance as I give my work days. No scheduling over, no putting off until next week.
  • book time in my calendar to nurture my home, as I would any appointment with someone important
How do you support your dance with Balance? I'd love to hear what works for you.

Danette Relic Life Coach. Creative Self-Expressionist. Halloween Enthusiast. Danette is a life coach and self-expression enthusiast who believes that life is about knowing who you are and expressing more of who you are each day. She loves to create magical experiences for others, from intimate creativity workshops in her home studio, to the over-the-top Halloween celebrations she builds with her partner Colin. Danette loves to invite others to explore their creative selves in a safe and playful environment. Danette was a contributing writer for Carrie & Danielle and enjoys writing for her own blog, The Drawing Board. She is also in the process of writing a Harlequin Spice novel. In her workshops and her coaching, Danette is passionate about inspiring and supporting others as they create lives they love.


Jo said...

I loved all the posts on balance but this one I think is the one that really got me. As one of those people who need to move to think, my constant aim for stillness has been counter-productive! Thank you for helping me see the obvious!

Chris Kay Fraser said...

The Balance Cam!
Your're a brilliant woman, Danette.

I love this post!

Kavindra said...

Love it! So true and so well said.

Jennifer Hicks said...

i love that you have Danette days. I love that idea. And that balance is about being "at choice".

Yummy photos toooooo

Tori said...

Great post! Thank you for sharing.

Genie Sea said...

Did someone say dance? :)

Oddly, yesterday, as I was walking on the dry pavement, I stumbled on... nothing. Air tripped me up, and I nearly fell. I thought, "Huh. That's interesting. Why did I trip?"

What was a I thinking at the time? Was I in the moment; or was my mind clouded with unnecessary drivel?

SO yes, it speaks to being in the moment. Making conscious choices. Watching where you're going!

It's easy to maintain balance in a room on a static ball. The challenge is being able to put one foot in front of the other, and balance with purpose.

Awesome post, Danette! As usual :)