Principle 17 of Jack Canfield's Success Principles is a very straightforward, incredibly simple, incredibly effective and often avoided: Ask. Jack points out that often we don't ask out of fear of being rejected, but in the not asking, we're actually pre-emptively rejecting ourselves! Without asking, we are guaranteed to get to experience the "not having."
So why are we so fearful about asking? Jack identifies some common reasons as fearing looking needy or foolish, fearing rejection. Personally, for me it's more related to not wanting to trouble someone. You see, I've grown up with the double whammy of being "a good girl" and a "polite Canadian," both of which smile nicely and are undemanding. Man, I'm so glad I've learned that you can be good and polite and still say, "Would it be possible to get that in grey?" What gets in the way of you asking?
Jack gives some useful tips on asking for what you want:
- Ask as if you expect to get it.
- Assume you can.
- Ask someone who can give it to you.
- Be clear and specific.
- Ask repeatedly.
So this week's task is simple. With confidence and clarity ask the right person for what you would like. Remember, the right person might be the Universe or whatever you call the powers that be. And also, you can start small. Ask about something that you want but that you're not deeply emotionally invested in. Ask your server for that extra mayo on your sandwich. Ask the bus driver to call out your stop. If you start getting into the habit of asking, you just might get into the habit of receiving.
What have you been wanting to ask for? This is the week to take the plunge.
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8 comments:
I think you're totally right Jamie, that we are afraid to bother people to get what we want is a huge factor in holding back on asking. I'm OK with asking people in customer service, probably because I did a lot of work like that myself, but asking friends or family...ugh, terrible. I will think of something to ask for. Most of the time I don't even know what it is I want!
this is one of the hardest principles for me to master thus far. and it's my lucky number 17, go figure! thank you for writing about it to remind me to take a chance and ask for what I want. ((hugs))
hey grrl. i've been very remiss in reading your blog. i love this principle and that double whammy is a doozie!
This is such a great one and I love the simplicity of the parameters - asking the right person greatly increases your chance for success here.
"If you start getting into the habit of asking, you just might get into the habit of receiving."
Excellent point Jamie! I like your way of thinking!
I'm with leah, this is one of the most difficult principles for me. Along with the politeness and not wanting to put someone else out, I seem to come to a screeching stop when the "something" I'm asking for involves (or actually is) money. Financial security is a biggie for me and I often feel guilty fostering an intention (stepping out in faith to show the universe/higher power that I'm putting my own money where my mouth is) when I could be putting that money aside for retirement/medical care/etc.
Somehow, I can go sailing along with checking the steps off my manifesting list until I get to the money.
Anyone else have this challenge?
I have learnt the hard way how important it is to ask - but in order to ask for something you must be first sure of what you want and I think that for most people this is the hardest part because we tend to spend too much time talking and thinking about what we can´t have rather than asking for what we really want.
Me too - nice girl & nice Canadian! It can get very tricky sometimes to break out of all of that! But I do like what you said about asking the right person - when you say it it sounds obvious but I think it's a tricky thing to get right!!
xo
great, you should write your own book one day :)
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