Meme from Megg

Megg just tagged me for a meme. It's especially fun to participate because Megg is one of the very first friends I made out here in Blogland. She is a real treasure - a generous, warm and gifted person who is a treat to know.

The 8 Random Things Meme

• Players post these rules before we give you the facts.
• Players start with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
• People who are tagged write their own blog post about their eight things and include these rules.
• At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged.

1. My Venus is in Scorpio which means I have very intense feelings, form deep bonds and have a jealous streak a mile wide. (Who me?)
2. My fear of deep water is so intense that watching water scenes in action movies can elevate my heart rate and increase my breathing rate.
3. When we went on our honeymoon to the Dominican Republic and I saw passionfruit for the first time, I thought it looked, well, revolting, all goopy and lumpy. (If you haven't seen it, this is what it looks like) But then I tasted it and had it at every meal and still miss it! Delish!
4. I have a list of movies that I won't watch because they're too nightmare-inducing.
5. When I was in university I scheduled all my classes between 11:00 and 3:00. That's still a good schedule for me.
6. When I was a little girl, I loved to bake. My mom said that I could bake anything I wanted as long as I left the kitchen exactly as it was when I began. I felt so privileged to be able to use the kitchen and took the clean up seriously.
7. I'm a straight arrow. When we were little we had a rule - if you find a present, you don't get it. I accidently found a game that I was going to get for my birthday. I didn't say anything but when I opened the present on my birthday I burst into tears. My conscience couldn't bear it.
8. I once tried to break up a fight on a streetcar. I didn't even think about it. I just walked towards the guys and tried to snap them out of it.

I tag: Suzie, Shannon, Jenn, Carmen, Vedrana, Star, Melba, Sunny

And to all you wonderful ladies, participate if it makes you smile or catch the wave next time if that feels better. Hugs to you all!

Musical Inspiration

This song made my spirit soar. I hope it does the same for yours.

The Success Principles ~ Principle 21

Principle 20 of Jack Canfield's Success Principles is keep score for success. This is a short chapter with a very succinct message: keep score of anything you want more of. Jack uses various examples and sources to demonstrate how motivation and achievement are inspired by score-keeping. He recommends that you keep score in all areas of your life from finances to relationships to work. Keeping score motivates you towards your goals. Simple.

But I want to ruffle it up just a bit. I know the power of measurement. Setting my sights on a certain markers of achievement has often provided me with focus, determination and success. For example, I made major progress on paying down my student loan by setting targets of the next amount I wanted to get under. But there can also be a dark side side to keeping score that some of you may recognize. It's when drive turns into obsession, when you keep your eye on the numbers so blindly that you lose touch with how you're feeling, who you're being and why you're doing this in the first place.

And I wonder whether it is the keeping score that's significant or whether it's actually the acknowledgement of our achievements. We so often breeze through what we've done without stopping to notice how much we've accomplished. In fact, often noticing the great work we've done is considered egotistical and inappropriate. Somehow quantifying and scoring makes it okay to remark on how well you've done. Whereas it might feel uncomfortable to say, "Yes! This week I was totally rocked it at work," it is great to say, "This week I handled 10% more client requests than last week!"

Keep score as long as it supports you. Find ways to acknowledge all the wonderful steps that you're taking, all the growth that is taking place. And take time to celebrate all that you are and all that you've done. Take time to say, "This week I totally rocked!" Where are you rocking it out this week?

Expressive Arts Therapy ~ Good News!

I have been flirting with Expressive Arts Therapy for a few years now. In February I took a workshop that confirmed for me that it was an area I would love to explore. I felt completely at home in this space, painting and making music and writing and sharing.

A few months ago I applied for the foundational year program. Just this week I was starting to think that it might have been a mistake, that perhaps I already had more than enough on my plate. And then I got the call - I'm in! And I beamed and beamed and beamed. It took me a few hours before I realized that that meant next year I'll be painting, writing, dancing, etc. as a regular thing! When I got that I think I literally started floating.

I'll look forward to sharing my explorations with you!

The Success Principles ~ Principle 20

Principle #20 of Jack Canfield's Success Principles is "commit to constant and never-ending improvement." He points out that these days with the pace of change, constant improvement is in fact a bare essential never mind a success strategy. Unfortunately a part of that is that we often feel like we're running to catch up instead of feeling great where we are right now.

So remember, you are fantastic today. You are unique and full of skills, talents and personality traits that are totally awesome right now at the moment you are reading this. If you need to read that again, please do. In fact, remind yourself of one great thing about you right now before we talk about improving, okay? And if you feel like it, share it in the comments. I am one person that loves to hear people share what is great about themselves! And here's one about me - at this very minute I know that I am a lively human being that loves to engage! You're turn.

Now that we know we've got at least one thing going for us right here, let's look at what Jack recommends we do for our improvement. One thing is to make your improvements in baby steps. Trying to do too much too fast can be overwhelming. Instead, small and achievable steps reinforce that you can do this. (I know I've mentioned her before but FlyLady has really worked the baby steps strategy into a system if you're dealing with clutter in your life.)

The other thing is to know what it is that you want to improve. If I make a million baby steps at something that isn't in the direction that I want to go, um, I don't end up closer to my goal. This can be a primo procrastination tool, especially if the baby steps are towards something you like and do really want to do. For example, imagine that I love wine (which I do). One day I think, yes, I really do love wine. In fact, I want to become a wine expert. I start taking baby steps - reading, researching, scouring the vintage section. My knowledge is nearing sommelier status. Then you ask me, "Jamie, what's your dream?" And suddenly I remember and say, "Well, I really want to run workshops that inspire joy and transformation." "Oh, do you have one scheduled?" "Um, no. But I'll tell you, the 2002 Verdicchio is lovely." See?

It's not that learning about wine isn't valuable or interesting or joyful for me. But its study allowed me to use the noble face of learning and improving to disguise the fact that though I was taking awesome steps I wasn't taking any in the direction of my real dreams. This can also happen when you take thousands of baby steps that make you an expert at preparing for what you really want (lists, schedules, plans, strategies) as opposed to becoming an expert at actually doing it. (Um, but I wouldn't know anything about that *whistling*)

So, baby steps and knowing what you want to improve are key. Two life areas that I am currently committed to improving are being a homeowner and being a traveller. These are both relatively new for me, they often intimidate me, and they are deeply important to me. I am committing to becoming more skilled in these arenas. Expect more posts about that soon!

What do you want to take baby steps towards?

The Success Principles ~ Principle 19

Jack Canfield's 19th Success Principle is: Use Feedback to your Advantage. He explains that when we take action we receive feedback, both positive and negative, and that paying attention to that information is crucial to our success because it informs us whether we are on or off course in our journey towards our goals.

It is useful to take a step and listen. Adjust your next step if required. Repeat. Listen to the feedback from others, from the universe and also from your self (your gut, your intuition, your emotional response). In the world of feedback, Jack recommends you give your gut primary billing. If everyone says something is a good idea and your gut is hitting the warning bells, trust your gut.

So feedback provides us with powerful information to keep us on track. Why do we so often not want to hear it? We're afraid, like somehow being off course says something horrible about us and that other people see our failing. Imagine - we were off course and other people knew it. Oh, the humiliation! Unfortunately, if we're off course and everyone sees it but we're not open to hearing about it, we stay off course and everyone still knows it - everyone, that is, except us. Better to brave the feedback and get on course. Perhaps instead of being humiliated, we will feel connected to others and to our journey and we will send out the message that we are open to help and guidance along the way and we will once again be moving towards our goal instead of moving in the wrong direction with blinders on.

This success principle highlights not just the importance of feedback but our being willing to ask for it and receive the information with gratitude. The process is quite simple: ask for feedback, make it safe for the other person to give it to you and be thankful when you receive it.

This week I am going to take this principle to heart as I continue to develop my brand concept for my coaching practice. I've made leaps and bounds in identifying the core values and purpose of my work and now am moving onto how to powerfully share that with others in a way that speaks to people who would love to partake of what I have to offer. I hope that in the coming weeks I'll be able to ask for your feedback and hear your responses.

What would you like feedback on? Will you ask for it?

What feedback have you been receiving lately? How will that guide your journey?

Four - Elizabeth Shepherd Trio

This is my first attempt at a video post. Not only is the dance in this video something special, the editing is definitely dancing along. The way certain moments synch with the music blew me away. I hope you enjoy it as much as I have!

DIY Entertainment Club

Recently Shannon and I were talking about how rarely we buy books, movies and CDs. (Truth be told I buy a lot of books but not fiction for quite a while) It suddenly occurred to me that you could create your own version of a "book of the month club." And that's exactly what we've decided to do. My plan is to put aside a bit of money so that at the end of the month I can buy myself either a book, a CD or a DVD. It's like a DIY Entertainment Club.

I started this month. A bit of extra money let me start off with a bang. I have to admit I did go with a business book, Growing a Business by Paul Hawken. You know, once I realized that building a business was a creative project, I've been obsessed! I also bought Kim Delmhorst's Songs for a Hurricane because when I heard the song Waiting Under the Waves on Pandora, I couldn't get it out of my head.

By the way, I just have to express how disappointed I am that services like Pandora are no longer available to Canadian listeners. More and more American internet content is being restricted to viewing/listening within the US. One perhaps unconsidered response to that is that more of us will turn to the rest of the world to see what's happening. There's lots of compelling work being created, like this fantastic CD that rounds out my DIY list by Sara Tavares, a Portuguese artist that a fellow Nia teacher recommended. It's a real treat.

Why not create your own DIY Entertainment Club? What would your first indulgence be?

A Saturday Night in Toronto (aka why I love my city)

This Saturday Justin & I took a much-needed break and headed down to Harbourfront to explore the Beats, Breaks & Culture festival of electronic music. One of my favourite things about this city is that you can always head out and experience something new and often for free.

We were really lucky and got an awesome seat in a restaurant to the side of the stage. We spent the night drinking sangria, listening to music and enjoying the breeze coming in off Lake Ontario. It was a treat. One cool thing about this event was how many different people were sitting and listening to the music, including families. This one woman had a handful with her 4 boys. Justin and I were completely taken with this one kid who was absorbed with reading this week's NOW.

And in this night of electronic music, breakdance competitions and tented dance floors...

Other amazing things could be seen, like street Scrabble.

And art exhibits, including a series of farm portraits. We fit right in, hehe.

The Success Principles ~ 18

This week's success principle, like last week's asking, is simple but not always easy. With principle 18 Jack Canfield tells us to "Reject rejection." He points out that rejection is simply a construct, that we haven't lost a thing when we're rejected. We're simply in the same position we were in before. He also lets us know through multiple examples that rejection is without fail a part of the road to success and perserverence is a must-have quality. There will be lots of no's along the way. How are you going to sustain your spirit until you get to yes?

For me, a big part of that is holding the belief that the right thing will come, that a rejection is an indication that this isn't the right thing for me at this time. I trust the Universe and take the Jack Canfield advice here and simply think, "Next." There's no denying though that sometimes rejection can hurt your heart. If you got a little knocked down and need some revitalization before the next thing, figure out your best self-care prep for that process. Go out with a friend who believes in you. Acknowledge your accomplishments and talents in your journal. Be loving to your wonderful self. Take a moment to remember all that's great about you, how important this dream is and then get back onto the adventure.

I think that it's important to add a step to saying "next" and moving on. What can you learn from the rejection? Sometimes the message is that this was truly not a good fit, this was the wrong guy, wrong job, wrong house, wrong opportunity. Why? How can you save yourself time and effort by eliminating poor fits from your to-do list? Other times you're saying to yourself, "I really wanted that job. I just know it's the perfect fit for me." This often means there's a disconnect with what's going on in your heart and in your life. Maybe it's the right fit in your heart, but something didn't match up. What needs to happen in order to create a good fit? More training? More confidence? Different environment? If you want it, figure out what you need and make it happen.

Once I auditioned for a show that I really wanted to be a part of. The director was working with the writings of a great Canadian author, using a movement-based approach and an aesthetic that was rich in symbol and poetry. I just knew it was a good fit for me. I didn't get the part. I did get the courage to call the director and ask for feedback on my audition so that I would be able to present myself more convincingly for another such role. It was so hard to make that call, but I knew this was the kind of work I wanted to do as an actor. So I did it. It turns out that the role I was right for (and there was a role I was right for) was already committed to an actor this director worked with consistently. He also affirmed certainly qualities I brought and what he had seen in me. It was a gift.

Are you ready to reject rejection? What will support you in getting through the sea of No to discover the land of Yes?

Little Details

Sometimes it's the little details that remind me of how deeply I love my life. Justin and I were in the grocery store today and just chatting about our new much-loved discovery, club soda and pomegranate juice over ice (yum!) when I just struck by how much I love my husband and our lives together.

We've had a bit of a rough go over the last week. Justin's mother's partner passed away on Canada Day. He had been ill for a very long time with muscular dystrophy and had been suffering more and more as time went on. Knowing this day was coming didn't make it any less of a surprise or diminish the sorrow. Tim was a smart, straight-shooting man who will be deeply missed.

Life events like this tend to draw into sharp focus all the wonders of life, the things we sometimes take for granted. Here are some of the things I truly enjoyed this week:

• Seeing Rashomon with Shannon at Cinematheque. (By the way, have you checked out her film blog? This girl is a movie maven. You should check it out.)
• Teaching Nia to 4 fantastic women.
• My mom stopping by Nia class to drop off some cherries and snap peas
• Our new solar-powered glowing globes in the garden
• Attending the Toronto Outdoor Art Exhibit with Shannon
• Having breakfast with my husband at an awesome local spot we recently discovered.(pictured above - I wonder if they'll have take down the "Christmas dinner" message, hehe)
• Having a relaxed and fun chat over beer and Mexican food in a favourite old haunt with my dear friend Sabine
• The following quote from an episode of What Not to Wear. This statement was made by the partner of a woman who had just undergone a major wardrobe overhaul. It sounded like poetry to me.

She was like a kid who plays
on the edge of the sea.

Just get your feet wet now
and again or just dive in.

Now
somebody's actually shown her
you can go over the limit

and
just go.

She's gone for it.

May you all have many little details to savour. Have a beautiful weekend.

The Success Principles ~ Principle 17

Principle 17 of Jack Canfield's Success Principles is a very straightforward, incredibly simple, incredibly effective and often avoided: Ask. Jack points out that often we don't ask out of fear of being rejected, but in the not asking, we're actually pre-emptively rejecting ourselves! Without asking, we are guaranteed to get to experience the "not having."

So why are we so fearful about asking? Jack identifies some common reasons as fearing looking needy or foolish, fearing rejection. Personally, for me it's more related to not wanting to trouble someone. You see, I've grown up with the double whammy of being "a good girl" and a "polite Canadian," both of which smile nicely and are undemanding. Man, I'm so glad I've learned that you can be good and polite and still say, "Would it be possible to get that in grey?" What gets in the way of you asking?

Jack gives some useful tips on asking for what you want:

• Ask as if you expect to get it.
• Assume you can.
• Ask someone who can give it to you.
• Be clear and specific.
• Ask repeatedly.

So this week's task is simple. With confidence and clarity ask the right person for what you would like. Remember, the right person might be the Universe or whatever you call the powers that be. And also, you can start small. Ask about something that you want but that you're not deeply emotionally invested in. Ask your server for that extra mayo on your sandwich. Ask the bus driver to call out your stop. If you start getting into the habit of asking, you just might get into the habit of receiving.

What have you been wanting to ask for? This is the week to take the plunge.