True Balance ~ Sacral Chakra ~ Letting it Out

There were some great responses about how to let out those emotions that sit curled up here in your sacrum. Janet pointed out that getting physical can help. I've found this too. I think for the first three months of Nia I cried during class! Somehow the movement was letting out all sorts of stuff that had been bottled up in there.

And I had suggested weepy movies to help you release some tears. Caroline asked me if I could recommend any. So here are my current top 3 weepy movies.

Movies that will help you let the tears out (or at least they did mine):

This is one of my top 5 movies EVER. It is beautiful, touching and inspiring. It is beautifully acted and presented. You won't be sorry you give this film a try.

Everyone's probably seen this one already, yes? This is also in my top 5 movies of all time. It's actually in my top 3. I still can't watch it without a large box of Kleenex by my side!

Coming of age, girl friendship story - what could be bad? I watched this as sort of a fluffy Sunday afternoon distraction and was surprised to find myself unabashedly pouring the tears out of my heart!

What weepy let-it-all-out movies would you recommend?

Self-Portrait Challenge ~ with Someone ~ My Girls

I can't really believe I'm sharing with you a picture of me in a corset, but this is truly one of my very favourite of our wedding photos because it is me and my girls, the kind of girl friends every girl should have. And what I love about this picture best is, well, can you see how serious they are? Do you see how carefully they're taking care of me? I felt so blessed and so loved and loved for who I am.

See, I'm a bit of an organization nut and more than a bit of a planner. For our wedding, I had lists and I had lists to cross-check those lists. As all bride's, I'm sure, I really wanted everything to be just so. My bridesmaids, Suzie, Shannon and Gala, never made me feel like I was being too fussy. They just wanted me to be happy and did all they could to support me and make me feel loved. When I look at this picture, that's what I remember. Thank you, ladies. You're the best.

See more self-portraits here.

True Balance ~ Sacral Chakra ~ The Unexpressed

The sacral chakra is so delicious. It's about sensuality, pleasure, fun, sex, relationship, passion, expression. This chakra gets shut down when these parts of your life are not being expressed. It's not enough to feel passionate about something or know that you enjoy something, you have to get out there and taste it, experience it, revel in it, be in it or else that desire sits inside you languishing like Rapunzel gazing out of that locked tower wondering when someone will ever rescue her. Be the hero! Let your passions out!

And it isn't just the fun stuff that needs to come out. It's the angry, ugly, raging, bitter, hurt, sobbing stuff that needs to be let out too. The stuff that's just festering there in the bottom of your spine. Do you think this might have a lot to do with how much people suffer from lower back pain (myself included)? As loving, compassionate people sometimes we don't think it's okay to be angry. As strong, independent women sometimes we don't think it's okay to sob. This is all a part of what it means to be human. This is who we are. And whether we like it or not, this is how we feel.

So how do you let out some of the yucky stuff? I know that sometimes I repress my tears. I don't share them easily and sometimes when those sobs well up I push them right back down. One thing that I've found helpful is to give myself the experience of sitting with a heartbreakingly tear-jerking movie all by myself with a cup of tea and a box of Kleenex and the time and space to just let those tears come out. It's like a cleanse for the soul.

And with emotions that I just don't seem to be able to let go of, whether it's guilt or anger, I've tried writing all about it, raging wildly, admitting my failings in all their nakedness and then setting it on fire as an act of letting it go.

What do you find difficult to express? What's in you that needs to be let out? What could you try in order to give yourself some release? What would you recommend to the rest of us on this journey?

True Balance ~ Sacral Chakra ~ Treats

Today started out as a rather nothing day. You know the kind - blah, blah and more blah. Yes, it was a contract day where I work at the ex-job. I was feeling kind of grumpy, kind of listless, kind of yuck. Then I decided to focus on my sacral chakra and my entire day turned around!

First, I thought I would indulge myself with a nice wine. I picked up this Christian Moueix Merlot because of the description: dark, rich and plush, with currant, plum, mocha and blackberry flavors and earthy aromas. Mmm, that sounds decidedly grounded in the root chakra but yummy enough to please chakra 2. And I may be the only person who would then choose to combine wine with the decidely lowbrow purchase of whimsical kids craft projects! Well, maybe the first until now. You're thinking about trying out the combo this weekend, aren't you?

And when I was in line at my local art store this really nice man in front of me let me go first because he was stocking up on art supplies. Then I decided to take the slightly longer but more scenic route home and this little convenience store had these beautiful gladiolas out front (white no less!) and they cost precisely the amount of change I had in my pocket! (Remember, we have $2 coins here, hehe) And as I walked home a grandmother was sitting on her stoop singing to her granddaughter who was sitting her knee, and they both looked at me and grinned ear to ear.

Wow, I feel better! Let's take another look at those glads. Yum!

Self-Portrait Challenge ~ With Someone ~ Theatre People

As I'm sitting here thinking of what I want to say, I'm feeling very emotional and tears are coming to my eyes. It's hard for me to explain what theatre people, especially these people have meant to me. There's an image of theatre people as self-obsessed, arrogant, flighty, pretentious. I'm sure you can come up with many unflattering adjectives. And those descriptions don't come from nowhere. I've met those people.

But I also found an entirely different people in theatre, people I admire, enjoy and feel fiercely loyal to. The theatre people I love are a rare package. They are sensitive, intuitive and practical. They are smart, creative, playful and unbelievably hard-working. They are loyal. You can trust them to show up, every time, all the time. They are this amazing combination of bohemian discipline. They can work a 12-hour day that's physically and personally demanding and then head out to drink and chat and laugh until every chair that doesn't have a bum in it has been put on a table and the lights are going out.

Shannon and I were talking the other night about how we went to a selection party for a theatre festival a few years back. It was a Tuesday night at a bar on Queen Street. We didn't know anyone except for who we had arrived with but somehow we knew we were with our people. There were men and women, people ranging in age and experience, artists with a wide range of aesthetics. But we were all there for the theatre, for the opportunity to create, for the vibrant energy of being a part of something so alive on this Wedneday night things were just getting started when more reasonable people were getting ready for bed.

And so I say thank you to Kathy and Jessica and Shannon and Gala for being so much a part of my theatre life, for making me feel at home, for believing in me, challenging me and supporting me. You beautiful, talented, dynamic women have changed my life forever. I treasure every minute.

For more self-portraits with someone, go here.
For more Starshyne Productions, go here.

True Balance: Sacral Chakra ~ Pleasure

My first reaction to the second chakra, the sacral chakra, is "YUM!" When I was reading about the kinds of things this chakra covers (emotions, desire, sexuality, sensuality, pleasure, creativity), I was so energized. I love this stuff. It's all about the joy of being alive. It's about being free to express and receive. It's about a joyful flow of energy between you and the world. It's about sharing and experiencing. It's about playing. I get happy just thinking about it! I feel a smile start to curl my lips and a twinkle start to sparkle in my eyes!

Having said that, when it got down to some of the questions that asked what I was doing to indulge this part of me, I was absolutely stunned to find how little I was doing! Perhaps I have been taking this whole side of me for granted, assuming that because it's such a core value for me that I have it in my life. I find pleasure and joy walking down the street and looking at people's gardens or eating my breakfast or being barefoot. But what I haven't been doing recently is actively inviting it into my life and the life of my loved ones. Well, something sure has to be done about that! And in the next 2 weeks I'll have fun exploring the possibilities!

I think a great place to start is one of the questions that Sonia asked in this section. I'd love to hear your answers too.

What are your favourite pleasures in life?

• juicy, fresh fruit
• flowers, especially white ones
• great showers
• fantastic smelling self-care and home-care products
• being barefoot
• great clothes
• time with my honey
• the arts: theatre, dance, art, books, films, music
• creating experiences: parties, dinners, rituals, theatre
• trees
• getting dressed up
• holidays and special occasions
• beauty
• my loved ones
• the sky
• sacred spaces
• things that sparkle
• spa indulgences
• great wine
• keeping my own schedule
• dancing
• laughing
• the wind in my hair
• self-discovery
• a good cup of coffee
• creative projects
• going for walks
• beautiful homes
• Nia
• gardens
• compassion
• human connection
• cats
• stimulating ideas
• after-dinner tea
• jewellery
• thunderstorms
• a pampered body
• touching

True Balance: Growing from my Roots

This is the beautiful root chakra necklace that my sister Suzie sent to me! How wonderful to receive it as we are transitioning to the next chakra. It reminds me of my roots and how we all grow from that strong, deep foundation that connects us to the earth and each other. Thank you so much, Suzie.

Mixed Media Memoirs

I felt so honoured when Melba asked me to host this week's question at Mixed Media Memoirs. I love this weekly challenge that blends words, art and personal exploration. One of the things I love most about it is that no topic is every closed! You can dig into whatever grabs you, and you can do it in your own time.

This is a picture of me combined with a painting I made. I've answered the question here. What will being off balance inspire you to create?

PS. Looking at the painting today, I think I must get off balance when an "e" kicks me in the butt!

Self-Portrait Challenge: with others ~ My Siblings

Oh, my sisters (Suzie on the left & Shannon on the right) are probably going to laugh when they see this picture. I think my brother (Jason, in the middle) will just feel relieved that he buried his face in his hands for this shot! This picture was taken by my Mom for an assignment in art school to create an album cover.

This month's Self-Portrait Challenge is "with someone." Here I are some of the most special people in my life. I am the oldest of 4 kids and that has a huge impact on who I have become. I've been a caretaker and a confidante. I've been a shoulder to cry on and a cheerleader. I've changed diapers, made dinners and flipped pancakes. I've been a babysitter and an entertainment coordinater. Mostly I hope I've been a good sister.

The bond between the siblings in our family became tight, tight, tight, when our parents' marriage started falling apart. We were each other's sanctuary. Together we shared our fear and pain or escaped from it. For a while one of the options on the table was even that the four of us would end up living together on our own. At the time, that seemed ideal.

And now?

Suzie and I live far across the country from each other. Thank goodness for email and digital pictures. Blogging has been such a gift because we can follow each other's adventures in this way. She's a deeply spiritual and strong woman with passionate views and a caring heart. She's a nature girl with a love of the ocean and a connection to animals. She's a gifted photographer, poet, writer and artist. She has found great love with her husband, a wonderful man.

My brother, Jason, is in the same province but miles away. I still remember when my mom found out she was pregnant with him. My best friend and I jumped up and down on the pull-out couch because we were so excited by the news. He was such a happy baby, full of love and joy. I adored him on sight. Now he's dedicated to his doctoral studies and to his writing. Recently he had a great speculative piece published in an Australian magazine. He has real gift, and everyone who knows him will say he's also got an awesome sense of humour.

And I'm blessed that my youngest sister, Shannon, and I live in the same city. In fact we've often lived together. She was full of beans from the moment she arrived and remains so to this day. She always wanted to be involved in everything, and if she wanted attention, well, she just sat in your lap. (Um, don't ask me if she still does that now, lol) All grown up, she's a dynamic woman full of talent and overflowing with an infectious laugh. She can run rings around numbers and loves lists, film, fashion and potatoes. And she makes kick-butt stuffed mushrooms.

I feel so lucky to have these creative, smart, sensitive, supportive people in my life. If it's true that we pick our families, dang I did a great job with these guys!

101 Things in 1001 Days ~ #33 Go to 10 new restaurants.

It's been a while since I've done an update on my 101 list, so I'm particularly excited to share the beautiful day that Justin and I had yesterday. We went to a restaurant we had seen but never been to before, which puts me at 4/10 on #33: Go to 10 new restaurants. We went to the Rectory Cafe on Ward's Island here in Toronto. I have been wanting to go here for ages. It was a real treat.

We went there for brunch and arrived just after the restaurant opened. The host had just arrived with spectacular dahlia's from his garden. He asked whether we would prefer white or yellow, and I was so enthusiastic about the white that he let us have 2! Aren't they gorgeous? And if that wasn't enough, our yummy meal was simply the beginning of a great day as we decided to walk around the island. This is the view that drew us to explore.

It's funny how you can really take your own city for granted. Centre Island is something that we all know about, somewhere we've probably gone when we were kids, associating it with some rides, maybe the beach. I always think picnic. But on a cool, clear September day, it was a gem of quiet and nature. Who knew that you could see this in Toronto:

So I'm so glad that going to a new restaurant brought us a day of beauty and leisure. Let's hope the rest of the 101 has some extra joy hidden in there too.

True Balance: How Do I Find My Balance?

Since yesterday I looked at how I lose my balance, I thought it only fair that I take a look at the other side - when do I feel grounded, centred, balanced in my root chakra?

Things that have grounded me in the past:

• The unconditional love of my mother
• The intense bond between my siblings (Suzie, Jason, Shannon) and I
• A deep sense of being connected to and supported by the Universe
• Dancing
• Leaving an unhealthy relationship despite having no money, no idea where I was going to go or what I was going to do and being supported and loved, finding my feet, making it work and meeting someone who taught me about love
• The confidence that comes from being able to turn things around when things have gotten bad

Things that help ground me now:

• All of the above still contribute powerfully to the strength of my root chakra
• The love of my husband
• Eating food that nourishes me and drinking lots of water
• Having my finances in order and my records up to date
• Writing morning pages in the AM and journaling in the PM
• Taking out the garbage, the litter and the recycling
• Reiki
• Nia
• Being barefoot
• Having a shower
• Being authentic
• Getting a massage
• Quiet
• Listening to music that speaks to my heart and/or my body
• Doing work that nourishes my spirit and makes a difference in the world
• Expressing myself creatively
• Having people in my life that believe in me

What supports your root chakra?

PS: You know what I love? That to be healthy your root chakra is moving. It's a swirling vortex of energy. So, to feel truly grounded, your root chakra actually has to move. I love that it isn't about being still or rigid. It's about flow and life energy. Yum.

PPS: Caroline, I giggled when you left your comment yesterday because I knew I was going to post this today :)

Want to participate? Join in here.

True Balance: How Did I Lose My Balance?

I'm currently working through True Balance by Sonia Choquette as a part of Melba's True Balance Project. I am loving this book. It is practical and concise considering that it's dealing with something as esoteric as chakras. This is an area I have been looking at developing as a structure for a coaching program. It really takes you through your whole self in such a healing way.

The first chakra is your root chakra. It sits at the base of your spine and is associated with the colour red. Not surprisingly, it deals with our foundations, our basic needs, our sense of safety, security and well-being. I love doing first chakra work because it's so clear that when you make an improvement in this area, it reverberates through your whole system.

The book recommends that you check-in and take a look at your own foundation and asks the question "how did I lose my balance?" I found this a powerful question because it encouraged me to get conscious about what kinds of things throw my off kilter.

Things that have thrown me off balance in the past:

• Moving from Roxboro to Toronto when I was 12 and the resulting culture shock and loneliness
• The painful time in my family before, during and after my parents' divorce
• Going away to university for the first time and getting repeatedly ill and knowing that my family was falling apart at home
• My dad's rumbling, grumbling temper
• A co-dependent boyfriend
• Feeling out of synch with my peers

Things that have thrown me off balance recently:

• Being in the wrong job and staying there
• Overindulging in stimulation - food, drink, busyness
• Taking a leap into running my own business
• Getting older

What throws you off balance?

Self-Portrait Challenge: With Someone ~ Me & My Dad

When I read this month's challenge was "with someone," this picture of me and my Dad immediately came to mind. I have always interpreted this picture as me being kind of wiggly and disgruntled, pushing away from my Dad and clearly having had enough of this photography thing. As my Dad and I currently have a rather challenging relationship, that had resonance and also made me sad.

Today I took the time to give it a a fresh look. For the first time I noticed that there's not really any tension in my little right arm that's up against his chest. It doesn't look like I'm pushing. And my legs are relaxed as they find a way to perch on him. It occurs to me that maybe I'm actually steadying myself on my Dad, finding a secure position, though perhaps because I'm not feeling 100% supported. I see that I'm not grimacing or crying, but I am looking incredibly serious as I make eye-to-eye contact with the photographer.

I'm curious about what else was going on. Who was behind the camera? What happened next? Where are my shoes? And I wonder what my Dad would see if he looked at this picture now.

See more Self-Portraits here.
Visit Starshyne Productions.

True Balance

Melba has taken the initiative to lead a group through True Balance by Sonia Choquette. This book looks at balance through the lens of our seven chakras, helping us become aware of how our energy is functioning and how we can become improve its flow. Melba suggested we begin the process by sharing what our thoughts on the topic currently are.

One of my very first posts was about Balance. (It's here. Just control + F "balance". I'm sorry I haven't figured out how to get the original link for archived materials). In it I talk about how in the past I haven't found balance very appealing. It inspired thoughts of sameness to me, of the status quo, of a straight and steady line, of boredom. I've always wanted to live a life of passion and that seemed at odds with balance.

I've expanded my view. First of all, I see balance as first and foremost the way in which what's inside someone is balanced with what's expressed by them in the world. Balance is about authenticity. In my coaching practice it is clear to me that people who are not being true to who they are experience a painful state of imbalance. Their system keeps poking, prodding and paining them to get back to equilibrium, an equilibrium that can only be experienced by being true to yourself. I know that I experience the most joy, the most health, the most connection when I am being most authentically me and sharing who I am in the world.

Also, I enjoy balance much more when I think of it as a kind of energetic ecological system that supports me and my passions. In the past, the geography of a life of passion has for me looked like "intensity, intensity, intensity, sickness, intensity, intensity, intensity, sickness." I didn't understand that to live a life of passion, I must treat myself like a passion athlete that requires training, resources and nourishment. If I'm going to really reach out and expend my energy, how can I support myself in replenishing that energy? (Suzie wrote a really interesting post on Energy Debt recently)

So, the two things I know about balance for me are:

• Balance is about authentically expressing myself in the world, balancing inside and outside.
• Balancing expended energy with renewed energy is key to living a passionate life.

Over the next several weeks I'll share with you what else I learn about balance. What does balance look like to you?

August Happiness Challenge ~ Wrapping Up

Yes, it's a bit weird to wrap up the August Happiness Challenge with Taxes, but on August 31 Justin and I finally got all of our taxes up to date, which not only makes me ecstatic but also knocks off #24 on my 101 List!
So that wraps up 31 days of celebrating happiness, of paying attention to the things in my life, both big and small, that make me smile. I have to say that it has reminded me of how lucky I am in so many ways. Thank you, Universe!